*Based on a false story

How you could spend your entire life in haemolysis

You go to India and catch vivax/ovale malaria (antimalarials, esp primaquine which is the only one that gets the lazy hypnozoites). Then you look more unwell, so they call it TB and give you isoniazid based on seeing acid fast bacilli everywhere. They then decide it was actually leprosy, and give you dapsone. This triggers off methemoglobinemia so they give you methylene blue. You’ve had enough, so say you’ll treat yourself and raid the pharmacy for antibiotics (sulfon, quniolones, nitrofurantoin) and analgesia (aspirin). You can’t believe your luck at triggering more G6PD haemolysis, so take out your stress at the urinal full of moth balls (naphthalene) (man version) or apply henna for your hastily arranged marriage to get away from it all (woman version). You then realise there is no woman version and this story must have happened to a man, as G6PD is X-linked. You decide to retire to a farm away from cruel civilization and plough your life savings into growing fava beans.